6 Reasons I Wrote a Radically Different Book on OCD

And Why--One Day--I Hope It's Not Radical!

In honor of the 6 month birthday of The Upside of OCD, here’s the list.

1. “If you find a book you really want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it”-Tony Morrison. I’ve always been searching for a book that had more heart, hope, and help for OCD, showcasing how much more is going inside and how much possibility there is for not just healing but thriving. Whether it was my own experience or watching that of my mom or my many clients, I didn’t see this well-represented out there, and after all while, I felt that maybe I just had to go out on a limb and try my hand at it myself.

2. “The Heart Has Reasons Of Which Reason Knows Nothing”-Blaise Pascal. While ERP and ICBT are useful and effective at getting at the mind and behavior of the OCD sufferer, neither gets to the heart. Neither honor the deep reservoir of feeling and emotion that motivates the OCD sufferer; instead, they leave the OCD sufferer like an actor without a motivation, without a why for the scenes of their life. The Upside is a love letter to that heart which beats strongly and quickly for others but so often falls silent for the self. I wanted to correct that for individuals struggling day to day in their lives who have been missing themselves. In the words of poet Derek Walcott, the time has come “when, with elation/you will greet yourself arriving/at your own door, in your own mirror/and each will smile at the other's welcome./ Sit. Feast on your life.”

3. “I Dwell in Possibility, a Fairer House than Prose”-Emily Dickinson. So much attention is given to the negative, spiraling capacity of the OCD imagination, but not much credit is given to its brilliance, nuance, and creativity. That’s why I highlighted the stories of Charles Darwin, Jack Antonoff, Mara Wilson, John Green, Nikola Tesla, Franz Kafka, and so many others who found more than thought spirals within this condition, they found imaginative possibility. I wanted to showcase that gift and how it can be nurtured and supported in its best moments and tamed and domesticated at its most savage ones.

4. “If You Don’t Become the Ocean, You’ll Be Seasick Everyday.”-Leonard Cohen. There’s something miraculous about learning to notice all the turbulent currents of life and also being able to find your own grandeur within it, but it’s also scary to sometimes lose yourself at sea. It’s not an easy task, but it’s a worthy and doable one that allows you to tap into bigness of yourself and the world while also noticing the potential for all of us to be swept under into the seeming chaos. I think of OCD as a much more dynamic process that’s trying to keep us in touch with the full range of our humanity, and trying to find a way to maintain dynamic boundaries in the world that is both an ocean and a thimbleful of water.

5. “Though the Physicality of Death Destroys Us, the Idea of Death Saves Us.”-Irvin Yalom. In my view, the center of OCD is the fear of death of ourselves, the ones we love, and the world itself. To be aware of that fact so early is terrifyingly difficult to manage, but once we are supported in how we can make meaning out of the idea of death, we can embrace life to its fullest and take hope and consolation that we are living like a lyric poem that both honors life and laments loss simultaneously. I think of OCD sufferers as starting out as little existentialists without the vocabulary to emotionally deal with the magnitude of the idea of death, but with support, they become philosophers who love not only knowledge but become reenchanted with the precious beauty of the world again.

6. "Innovation is not the product of rational, linear thought. It is the product of the collision of contradictory ideas, of the creative power of diversity.”-Matthew Syed. I wrote The Upside to awaken and inspire those in the field to look anew at OCD, to contend with it, and make something recombinant and innovative with it. People with OCD deserve more and better treatments, and a fuller understanding and witnessing of who they actually are and who they can become. What now seems radical might one day seem so basic as to have been seen along. I’m so grateful to so many people from Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, England, Germany, and Ireland and from Los Angeles, Nashville, Tulsa, Portland, and everywhere in between, from engineers, lawyers, poets, actors, artists, Uber drivers, stay at home moms and dads, and everyone in between for resonating with this book and sharing their stories with me. I’m so grateful to be on this ride with you all, and am so appreciative for the support I’ve gotten from you and all the many therapists out there who see it too. There’s a bigger story here, and let’s all start telling it more together!